Yeah, so I’m never really here anymore. I did this weird attempt to be someone else and get away from my shitty life and… my life just got shittier. Because apparently that’s what happens.
On June 14, I got in to see an orthopedic doctor about my problems with my right hand. I’ve had hand and wrist problems before, mostly cysts. I figured that’s what this is, though it’s massive and wraps around my hand and presses on nerves and shoots pain up my wrist. My left hand is also sore and annoying, but not as bad. The doctor said it was very strange, and asked if I had any other joint pain. Which, yes. Constantly. But I figured it was all in my head, or I was overreacting, because I’m 21. I’ve had issues since my mid-teens at least, and what teenager has random joint pain? The doctor sent me for blood tests and an MRI. He wanted to rule out rheumatoid arthritis, an autoimmune condition where, basically, your immune system attacks your joints. Yay.
(dude also gave me vicodin. It barely takes the edge off, but that’s significant enough that I’m willing to deal with all the other nasty shit it does, like make me feel miserably nauseous, spacey, itchy, and otherwise crappy)
I got the results last Tuesday, on June 21. My right hand does not have a cyst; it’s just all inflamed and fluid-filled and rather nasty, and will probably be treated with drugs. It’s pretty much certain I have RA, though I need to see a rheumatologist to get diagnosed and to get drugs. The rheumatologist I’m going to see gets back from vacation or wherever tomorrow, and she’ll let us know if she can take me on.
Meanwhile I’ve been depressed and stressed and in even more pain, probably because of the stress. I’m vacillating between being pissed and crying my eyes out and… it’s just generally not good. So yeah. That’s where I am.
Edit: I’m also stuck driving my brother to and from work and school because he finally got his license revoked. (Though he does pay me. So there’s that, sort of)